


Recipe for Disaster

by Czaritsa (RomaStache)



Series: Red Velvet Reel [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap, Attempted Poisoning, Chara Has Issues, Dubious if it was a prank or not tho, Established Relationship, Headcanon, In the second chapter:, It's ok tho nothing happens and no one gets sick!, M/M, Mpreg, Playful teasing, Slice of Life, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Stretch and Chara are equally antagonistic to each other, lots and lots of headcanons lol, mentions of bullying, prank gone wrong, skelepreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-25 20:57:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14985440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomaStache/pseuds/Czaritsa
Summary: StretchpromisedEdge he would make pancakes at the Youth Club as a special activity, but that doesn't mean he's going toenjoyit. (Especially not with that punk kid hanging around, ugh.) Oh well. At least Asgore and Edge are there, so it won't be a total drag. And who knows, he might even learn something new!





	1. Chow time!

**Author's Note:**

> Presenting another part of the RVR that explains some of my monster pregnancy headcanons, and more worldbuilding! :'D 
> 
> A little background info to this story:  
> In Wake-Up Call, Edge mentioned he volunteered at the Youth Club run by (King) Asgore to provide troubled and at-risk monster and human youth a safe place to connect and learn new skills. Originally a form of penance by the King and Queen to atone for their sins Underground, it has since become a fairly popular outreach program among monsters looking for human-monster engagement opportunities. Currently, there are several human children who regularly attend, including the savior of the Underground and adopted child of the Dreemur Royal family, Chara.

“Chara, _don’t do it,”_ Edge’s voice was sharp enough Stretch jumped too, and he wasn’t even _doing_ anything! He looked up just in time to see the child shove a spoon forcefully back into one of the bowls, looking incredibly annoyed. Were they trying to flick pancake batter at him? Well, if they wanted to-  
  
  
“Stretch! Don’t even _think_ about it!”  
  
  
He lowered the bowl he was mixing with a sigh, trying to stir as innocently as possible, “What? I didn’t _do_ anything!”  
  
  
**_“Yet.”_**  
  
  
“You’re suddenly a mind reader now, Edge?” Stretch stuck his tongue out at Chara, who returned it with a different gesture. It escalated silently after that.  
  
  
Edge turned around quickly enough he saw them mere inches apart, making rude gestures and faces at each other before they could feign innocence, “I don’t need to _see._ Neither of you are particularly subtle.”  
  
  
“Meaning?” Stretch asked flatly.  
  
  
Edge put the washed measuring cups on the dish rack, turning back to the bowls he was rinsing, “Your _soul_ broadcasts guilt because it _knows_ you’re up to no good! I can sense your mischievous intent.”  
  
  
“Ugh!” Chara stuck their tongue out at the back of Edge’s head, crossing their arms petulantly, “Mrs. Mom _always_ says that! ‘Your soul tells me!’ It didn’t use to happen _before_ \- it’s all Asriel’s fault! What, are _you_ having a baby, too?!”  
  
  
Stretch couldn’t hide his surprise, eyes bulging out of his sockets as he stared at them, a little slack jawed. They stared back, and realization dawned on their face as they turned back to stare at Edge’s back.  
  
  
“Ha-how?!” Stretch massaged his forehead, “I was being so cool and subtle this time, wasn’t I?”  
  
  
Chara curled their hand into a tight, angry fist, and a very unpleasant shadow seemed to stretch over their face as they tipped their head forward to obscure their face with their hair. Stretch was starting to get a very familiar, unpleasant feeling.  
  
  
“Impressive deductions, Chara- ” Edge turned around with a smirk, “As would be expected of my apprentice.”  
  
  
“Really?” They were back to their usual self in a moment, perking up with obvious pride before remembering their annoyance. Chara wrinkled their nose in complete disgust,  turning to glare at Stretch with obvious disdain, _“His_ baby?!”  
  
  
Stretch was insulted, even more so when Edge actually laughed. “Who else?” he asked, highly amused.  
  
  
“Literally _anyone_ else would be better!” Chara threw their hands up dramatically, “How about someone kinda scary and strong, like Grillby! He’s got a really cool food-monster pet thing! Or-“  
  
  
“That’s too bad for ** _you!”_** Stretch cut them off before they could say anything else, crossing the kitchen to pull Edge into a possessive hug, **_“My_** husband is having **_my_** baby, and we are **_very happy!”_** It was childish and immature, but _damn,_ if they didn’t bring out the worst in him!  
  
  
“You-! You sound stupid!” Chara sputtered, before sticking their tongue out at him defiantly.  
  
  
Stretch deliberately made little hearts manifest above his head, giving Edge a very loud kiss on the cheek, **_“My_** husband AND **_my_** baby.”  
  
  
“You don’t even have lips!” Chara was outraged, hopping down from the counter, “You can’t **_make_** that noise!” They started gagging when Stretch tried to give Edge another loud kiss.  
  
  
“Children, **_please,”_** Edge shoved Stretch’s face away, trying to look stern, “You’re both being ridiculous!”  
  
  
“He started it!” Chara pointed at Stretch, eyes narrowed and tone accusatory.  
_  
  
“I did not!” _ Stretch pointed right back at them, “They did!”  
  
  
“I’m finishing it!” Edge snapped, looking annoyed, “Chara, go get your father and the other children. Stretch, make yourself useful and get the griddles warmed.”

  
Chara looked annoyed, crossing their arm with a huff, “That’s not fair! You just want me out of here so you can spend time with _him!”_  
  
  
Edge put his hands on his hips, leaning down to match them with a level stare, “Why would I want _that?”  
  
  
_ Stretch didn’t appreciate the intonation, especially when Chara giggled unpleasantly at his expense, but Edge ignored the sullen glare directed at his head, “You’re not allowed to operate the stove, so _you_ can’t do that. Do you want me to go with you? Stretch is a big enough boy he can handle being alone for five minutes, right?”  
  
  
Stretch didn’t dignify that with a response.

  
“No,” Chara looked away, sulking, “It makes my cover story unnecessarily weak. If you can come with me there, you weren’t _that_ busy.”   
  
  
Edge looked pleased, patting the top of their head affectionately, _“Very_ good. We’ll make a guardsmen out of you yet. Although this could all be avoided if you just stayed and did the other activity with everyone else-”   
  
  
“I’d rather die!” Chara beamed at the praise, making sure to make eye contact with Stretch as they beckoned Edge closer. “I’m going, but I gotta tell you something important first!”   
  
  
Edge crouched down on one knee, tilting his head obligingly. They reached up, looping their arms around his neck before giving him two kisses on the cheek. Edge blinked, uncomprehending, before his eyes widened in surprise.   
  
  
“Hey!” Before Stretch could take a step forward, they were running out the door with that creepy, wide smile and that annoying giggle. As though they had _won_ this round, or something.   
  
  
_“Ugh!_ I can’t stand that kid,” Stretch grumbled under his breath as he worked at melting the butter on the griddle, giving Edge a betrayed look. “And you! What was _that_ about, huh?”   
  
  
Edge pulled himself to his feet, rubbing at his cheek absently, “I’m not sure. They’re usually not physically affectionate, and they’ve never _kissed_ me before-“   
  
**_  
“I knew it!”_ ** Stretch went onto the next pan, pointing at Edge with the spatula, “They do this _just_ to piss me off! Every single time-“   
  
  
“Stretch.” He didn’t appreciate the look Edge was giving him, arms crossed and smiling like he was trying not to laugh, “Are you **_jealous?_ ** Of _Chara?”_   
  
  
_“Of course not!”_  Stretch answered a little too quickly, turning away with an exaggerated scoff. “I just don’t like the way the always flirt with you **_in front of me!_ ** They get a kick out of taunting me, and I just don’t want them hurting you-“   
  
  
“Aww, so considerate~” Edge reached out to tug at his cheekbones teasingly, “Making sure my heart isn’t broken by a 9 year old. You’re my _hero.”_   
  
  
“That’s not what I meant, you jackass!” Stretch felt his cheeks heat up in mortification, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to get Edge off of him, “They’re nasty and cruel, and are likely to break your heart if you let them in- so don’t! But I meant physically! Like stabbing you in your stupid face!”   
  
  
“How cruel!” Edge pulled away with one last teasing poke, voice light with laughter, “I bet Chara would _never_ call my beautiful face stupid. They would never be so _mean_ to me~”   
  
  
**_“Mean?!“_ ** Stretch sputtered indignantly, torn between enjoying Edge’s unusually playful mood and wishing it wasn’t at his expense, “You’re the one tormenting **_me!”_ **   


“What’s this I hear about being mean?”  
  
  
Stretch looked up from the last griddle he was heating up with a start, surprised to find Asgore and his gaggle of children watching him from the doorway.  They all looked so small, standing next to him like that... but Stretch knew firsthand not to take appearances at face value.   
  
  
“Hey, Old Timer,” Stretch repressed a shudder, focusing on Asgore, “What’s shakin’, bacon?”   


Asgore released a booming laugh, and while some of the younger children flinched, no one cried. “We are having an _egg_ cellent time having you here, dear friend.”  
  
  
Stretch was swept into a strong hug that always left him feeling like a babybones again, burrowing his face in soft fur as he squeezed back. Asgore shifted him to one arm, holding him like a child, before sweeping his free hand across the kitchen.  
  
  
“What a wonderful opportunity we have today, my dear children,” he said with obvious warmth, “That my good friend Papyrus is here to teach us how to make delicious pancakes! Let’s all do our best to welcome him and follow his wise instructions!”  
  
  
Most of the kids seemed bored, watching him with unimpressed expressions, but a few younger ones gave a hesitant smattering of applause. They were looking in Edge’s direction, however, so it probably wasn’t their idea.   
  
  
“Well then, dear ones-“ Asgore started to say, before Edge cut him off.  
  
  
“Go wash your hands.”  
  
  
“You’re such a buzzkill, Edge,” a sulky looking child muttered, kicking at the floor.   
  
  
“The only thing I’m interested in killing, _today,_ is germs,” Edge answered primly, “And potentially that bad attitude of yours, Sam.”  
  
  
‘Sam’ blushed, tugging her hat over her eyes as some of the other kids laughed.  
  
  
“Hm!” Asgore tapped at his chin, looking overly pensive, “I wonder who can get to the bathroom, wash their hands with soap and water, dry them with a towel, and come back here the fastest? All the children or just me?”  
  
  
Chara took off like a shot, crashing against the door in their haste, followed by  the thundering of several other feet as the rest of the children followed suite.  
  
  
“No running in the hallways!” Asgore called out pleasantly, before turning to face Stretch after he tapped him on the shoulder.   
  
  
“I like _tall_ king to you, buddy, but do you think you could put me down? Kinda hard to wash your hands with me just-” Clamping his legs around Asgore’s forearm, Stretch threw himself backwards even as he felt both monsters tense in surprised alarm. He held his arms out on either side of him.  
  
  
_“Hanging_ around, eh?”  
  
  
“I think you should drop him on his head,” Edge muttered derisively, pointedly ignoring all of the faces Stretch was making at him.  
  
  
Asgore smiled pleasantly, “Now, now, I’m sure that as a skeleton, he has-”  
  
  
He looked up at Edge, nose and eyes crinkled in barely contained amusement, before he stopped himself. His eyes widened and his arms went slack in obvious surprise, enough that Stretch nearly _did_ fall on his face, barely catching himself on his hands.  
  
  
“Lots of funny bones…?”  
  
  
Asgore didn’t answer, staring at Edge intently- who just stared back. It wasn’t until Stretch managed to wriggle onto the floor before the king moved again, crossing the kitchen to stand in front of Edge.  
  
**_“What?”  
  
  
_** “Edge!” Asgore exclaimed loudly, before clapping a hand over his muzzle, glancing at the door as he leaned in closer. He whispered conspiratorially, resting a large paw on his shoulder, “Are you with child?”  
  
  
Edge’s expression shifted from annoyed to neutral, with only a slight raise of his browbones as he turned to look at his husband. Stretch was less composed, gesturing atthem wildly as he sputtered, “Wha-how??? My chill game has been **_flawless_** today?! I even resisted making the obvious breakfast joke with you: Don’t flip out-“ Stretch pointed to the now cold griddles, “‘We’re egg-specting!” He held up an egg from the nearby carton no one had seen him grab. _“It was the kid, wasn’t it?!”  
  
  
_ “Oh, nevermind. I didn’t mean to spoil your surprise,” Asgore gave a hearty laugh, walking over to the sink to begin washing his hands, “Although it was very clever, as usual, my friend.”  
  
  
“Please _don’t_ spare his ego,” Edge scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, still off balance but less tense, “He’s cocky enough _without_ your coddling.”  
  
  
“My jokes are _amazing,_ and enhance my naturally occurring good looks and incredibly sweet personality,” Stretch batted his eyes for additional effect, “ Blue told me this in high school, once, so it _must_ be true.”  
  
  
Asgore laughed again, softly this time, patting his hands dry on a towel. He turned towards the door with his hands on his hips, smile dipping into a tired sigh, “The children been gone a suspiciously long time, haven’t they? Ah, I knew their enthusiasm for proper hygiene was... but a _pipe dream.”_  
  
  
Punching him in the arm lightly, Stretch sounded delighted, “Nice!”  
  
  
Edge just rubbed at his skull, “You deserve each other.”  
  
  
As Asgore made his way to the door, Edge blocked his path, “Before we deal with the inevitable mess, I need to know how you were able to tell of my current... condition.”  
  
  
The king‘ smile fell for a moment, looking down at Edge with a thoughtful expression, before getting down on one knee to be eye level.   
  
  
“My dear friend,” he said warmly, taking Edge’s hands in his large paws, “It’s because you are _glowing!”_  
  
  
Edge didn’t say anything, but he didn’t look particularly convinced.  
  
  
“When my dear wife Toriel was pregnant with our little Asriel,” Asgore spoke with obvious affection, “She was even more radiant than on our wedding day. Day or night, within our home or out of it, in a good or bad mood, her fur always looked like it was bathed in moonlight.”   
  
  
He gave a long, dreamy sigh, looking at Edge with half-lidded eyes that were clearly meant for someone else. Edge tugged on his hands lightly, looking unimpressed, “How very nice for you. And very _uninformative_ for me.”  
  
  
“Awww, that’s beautiful,” Stretch clasped his hands over his heart, smile widening, “You’re a natural for romance, Bud! Even if I don’t get it either!”  
  
  
“Well, as our little boy developed his own soul, that affected Toriel’s magic and soul too, resulting in what we call the pregnancy glow.” Asgore gave a broad smile, “I came up with that name myself. Not terribly creative, perhaps, but accurate. You’re about halfway through your first quarter, are you not?”  
  
  
Edge looked suspicious, exchanging a glance with Stretch, before giving a tense nod.  
  
  
Asgore’s smile was kind, “It’s barely noticeable at first, perhaps only as a healthier look to your body and a brightness to your eyes. But now that you’re past 12% in the development of your little one, you’ll both begin to notice it more. At 24%, my beloved Toriel was bright enough to light up the room- but very softly, like... moonlight.”  
  
  
Edge kept his expression carefully blank, finally managing to take his hands back, “I see.”  
  
  
“With that out of the way, “Asgore let out a pained groan as he stood up, rubbing at his knees, “Dear friends, it would seem we have wayward children we need to shepherd back and damage to undo.”  
  
  
“It’s... How do the children say it?” Asgore’s smile took on a slightly mischievous quality, jogging to the door, “Last one there is a rotten egg!”  
  
  
Stretch put a hand on Edge’s shoulder, lightly, “What’s up? You good?”  
  
  
Edge nodded, before making his way to the door, “Later. I cannot let myself be beaten by a rheumatic goat.”  
  
  
Stretch winked, waiting for him to close the door so he could take a shortcut, “See you at the finish line, then, Babe.”  
**_  
  
_****_“Lazybones,”_** Edge answered fondly.


	2. NOT Ciao Time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edge & Red go to the Cheesecake Factory. Wait. I mean, Factory Cheesecakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! :'D
> 
> Chapter Warning! I included these tags for a reason! I'll give y'all the spoilery one in the end notes, and a less spoilery one here! It's a small section and the warnings sound a lot worse than it is, I think- but hey, YOU be the judge of what you can handle or not, ok?
> 
> Warning for food tampering with a non-edible, dangerous substance!

The most surprising thing that happened that day, it turned out, was Edge tossing him the keys to the car.   
  
  
“Are you sure-?” Stretch started to ask, looking up from the keys resting in his palm to find his husband already sitting in the car. Buckling himself into the passenger’s seat and engrossed with something on his phone.  
  
  
Well, stranger things _had_ happened... Stretch slid into the driver’s side with only a little hesitation, shifting the seat back to a more comfortable angle for his legs. “Do I set a course for home, Captain?”  
  
  
“To The Factory Cheesecakes, Ensign,” Edge answered, sounding distracted as he was still tapping away at his phone.  
  
  
“Aye aye, Sir.”  
  
  
“Steady as she goes.”  
  
  
Heh. Stretch was content to drive without speaking, listening to one of the new songs from that Aerok group playing on the radio. Undyne would be betrayed if she knew he was listening to any A-Pop groups other than m00nsh1n3, but these GLOWEE boys weren’t half bad...  
  
  
“I don’t know why your friend is so anti-phone calls,” Edge finally put the phone down, rubbing at his good socket as though it hurt, “Having to send hundreds of text messages over the course of several minutes seems infinitely _worse_ than speaking for a few seconds.”  
  
  
Stretch gave a noncommittal hum as they waited at a stoplight, shrugging, “Maybe if you used your reading monocle like you’re supposed to-“  
  
  
“It’s not a monocle!” Edge sank into his chair with an aggravated sigh, “I’m not going to use anything in public that advertises I can’t see perfectly _without_ assistance!”  
  
  
Stretch bit back the obvious reply that the ** _literal_ _ **c** law marks ripping through his socket_** did more than enough 'advertising; than glasses ever could.  
  
  
“Besides, I don’t _need_ it!”  
  
  
This was an old argument he absolutely did _not_ want to get into right now. “So what does the good ol’ Doc say?” Stretch asked instead, “Asgore was right about the glowing stuff?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Edge leaned his head against the window, looking displeased, “It’s a first quarter symptom that occurs across all monster types, although it’s most noticeable in darker-hued monsters. Dramatically, sometimes- Moldsmals are able to match the brightness of the Underground’s magic crystals by the 10% mark.”  
  
  
Stretch nodded, drumming his hands on the steering wheel, “That’s really cool. Why don’t you glow like that, then?”  
  
  
He squinted, glancing at his husband with an impish smile. “Or do I need a reading monocle too?”  
  
  
“It’s most likely a defense mechanism for the Moldsmals, and any other dark-hued monster,” Edge sounded annoyed, pointedly ignoring his bait, but the mood passed quickly enough, “Other monsters are less likely to step on them if they’re bright enough to see, since they _are_ rather small. In worse situations, they would also be able to camouflage themselves with crystal clusters.”   
  
  
“Sounds reasonable…” Stretch nodded, pulling into the crowded parking lot as he started looking at the rows of cars.  
  
  
“By the blue truck,” Edge gestured to a free parking place on his side, “Brighter colors, on the other hand, have less of a need to stand out, resulting in a more muted glow. When Pancake is at 24%, my body should be able to light the space directly around me for a few feet. Helpful to a certain degree Underground, but useless on the Surface.”  
  
  
“I guess that’s also why we didn’t notice,” Stretch bypassed the spot for one at the end of the row. He wasn’t about to risk letting a truck dent or scratch the car when _he_ was driving it. “There’s a lot of natural and artificial light in our apartment, and pretty much everywhere up here, so it doesn’t really stand out much.”  
  
  
“Mmhm,” Edge seemed to agree, unbuckling his seatbelt as the engine shut off, “Apparently the eyes have the brightest glow, but I can’t imagine that really stands out on a skeleton.”  
  
  
He turned to face Stretch, _“Are_ my eyes noticeably brighter?”  
  
  
Stretch leaned forward as Edge kept unnaturally still, making a show of ducking his head to either side as he scrutinized his husband’s eyelights. They seemed… exactly the same, but then again, he was still under 15%, right? Maybe it’d really kick in another week from now.  
  
  
Stretch pressed their mouths together in a chaste kiss before Edge could get concerned, leaning back to unbuckle his seatbelt with a wink.  
  
  
 _“Eye_ think they’re beautiful, as always, darlin’.”  
  
  
The surprised silence was short, with Edge quickly getting out of the car with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks. “I wanted an _actual_ answer, you sap,” he tried to sound annoyed, but Stretch had plenty of experience picking up on the flattered and pleased undertones. He also didn’t miss the way sharp claws brushed against his fingers as Edge very deliberately waited for him to catch up.  
  
  
“You’re going to glow, too, by the way,” Edge told him pleasantly, a mischievous glint in his bright(er?) eyelights.  
  
  
 _“Me?”_ Stretch blinked, looking around as if to confirm Edge was actually talking to him, and not some other random person in the parking lot.  
  
  
“You have objections?” Edge asked wryly, instinctively tensing when Stretch looped his arm around his shoulders. He forced himself to relax, leaning into his husband’s side, trying to keep his tone light, “Take it up with Pancake- it’s all _their_ idea.”  
  
  
“I would never!” Stretch did his best to sound solemn, giving Edge a squeeze before pulling away to put his hands in his hoodie pocket, keeping close enough their elbows brushed together. The one upside to parking so far away from the door. “I guess it makes sense, though. Monsters may not have obligate symbiotic relationships with their partners during pregnancy, but the importance of a positive and supportive emotional environment for the healthy development of the souling encourages more involvement. Certainly more intraspecific interactions than non-magical animal species.  
  
  
“In this context, mutual bioluminescence wouldn’t just be an external indicator for others, then. It’s also establishing a more direct link with their non-pregnant parent as a form of, uh, emotional reassurance, I guess? But it’s a somewhat physical bond? Psychic? Hm. “ He rubbed at his chin, frowning at his other hand as he started counting something on his fingers, “I don’t remember. It’s been a while since those mandatory Physio-Repro classes in high school, I’ll have to dig around for my old textbook or something.”  
  
  
Stretch looked up suddenly,  “I do have a question, though.”  
  
  
Edge didn’t say anything at first, expression carefully blank if not a touch alarmed, “If you, of all monsters, don't understand something, I'm not sure what you expect _me_ to say-”  He drew himself up to his full height, looking much more determined, “But I will do my best.”  
  
 _  
“Heh.”_ Stretch grinned, taking the stairs two at a time to cut in front of his husband, “I was just wondering, you hungry? Even after a whole day spent making and eating pancakes with your _delightful_ kids?”  
  
  
Sighing wearily at the comment, Edge looked earnestly confused, “Of course not. Why?”  
  
  
“Of cou-?” Stretch gestured at the restaurant with an expansive sweep of his arm, “We're just here for the ambience then?”  
  
  
 _”I'm_ not hungry,” Edge sounded impatient, moving off to the side, away from the main doorway and other patrons, “But I know _you_ are.” Edge hesitated, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced at some of the lingering dampness on Stretch’s hoodie from where they had cleaned the batter earlier.  
  
  
“You’re not **_that_** clumsy, Papí,” Edge sounded almost absent-minded as he leaned forward to pick at a dried speck Stretch had missed along his collar, “Chara put something in your batter that made it inedible, didn’t they? And you pretended to slip and spill it on yourself so no one else would accidentally eat it. It was too much salt, or something?”  
  
  
“Or something,” Stretch agreed, putting his hands in his hoodie pocket and worrying at his ring. _Soap_. It was dishwashing soap. He probably would have been fine, since he didn’t have any organs _to_ poison. But he was _pretty_ sure that much soap was probably dangerous for humans. And since he had made his super delicious ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ batter and played it up so much, a lot of those kids would have wanted to sample it. The whole point of this exercise had been to share different flavors and toppings, bonding and sharing or something.  
  
  
Was it a “prank” that had just gotten out of hand? Did they know soap in that quantities was probably not good for humans? Had they been banking he would just find a way to hoard his pancakes and eat them all himself? Were they trying to get back at everyone else in the room, too? Should he tell Edge about it? Asgore or Queen Toriel? Probably, but what would he even say?  
  
  
“Stretch?” Edge called out softly, the beginning of a worried crease between his browbones, “What’s wrong?”  
  
  
“I’m good,” he smiled breezily, still feeling unsettled and conflicted, “Just thinking of what flavor cheesecake best conveys: ‘I told you so! That little demon has had it out for me since day one! And the more you try to defend me from them, the angrier they get and the more they hate me and the worse they act!’ I’m thinking probably anything that doesn’t have _chocolate,_ ugh.”  
  
  
Edge looked far from convinced, but he let the matter go, expression softening into something apologetic, “Chara was in rare form all day- I suppose they didn’t take to the news as well as I was hoping. Apparently, they’re having issues with Asriel too- pushing him down, pulling his ears, things like that. They’re jealous and angry, and I guess Pancake just made things worse. I’m sorry-”  
  
“Ah, c’mon, Babe,” Stretch walked towards the front door, holding it open from the inside as Edge followed him in, “ _You’ve_ got nothing to apologize for. I’ll just keep avoiding them, they can pretend I don’t exist, and we’ll both be happy! Well, I’ll be happy, and  they’ll _hopefully_ go back to their usual, slightly less angry self! Let’s just focus on delicious cheesecake and ignoring  huge, complex issues!”  
  
  
“But-”  
  
  
“Oh yeah, I nearly forgot!” Stretch turned around after exchanging a few pleasantries with the host, eyelights gleaming as he clapped his hands together, “This restaurant is notorious for its dim lighting, so we can check out that whole  G-L-O-W thing too! And it’s still bright enough that no nosy people will be able to tell. Ever the brilliant strategist and awesome hubby- catering to my sweet tooth and insatiable curiosity. Love you, Babe.”  
  
  
“I-” Edge sighed, face growing hot as he pointedly looked away, failing to suppress a smile, “You.. too... In that case, I think the flavor you’ll probably want to order is Tiramisu. After you’ve had something more filling and nutritious, of course.”  
  
  
Stretch made a face, sticking out his tongue for extra emphasis, “Ugh, no way- it’s so bland! Maybe like salted caramel for something a little more mellow.”  
  
  
“Key lime, then.”  
  
  
“Oh, _mango_ key lime!”  
  
  
 __“Ugh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit Chapter Warning: Chara pours dish soap into Stretch's batter, and since all the kids are sharing pancakes and stuff, could get them all sick too. He isn't sure if they did it as a "prank" that was unintentionally dangerous, or if it was purposefully so- for just him, or for everyone else too.
> 
> A few reminders/Notes:  
> *Underswap Universe's Korea is Aerok, and K-Pop is A-Pop. GLOWEE is a parody of SHINEE!   
> *Factory's Cheesecake is obviously Cheesecake Factory inversed, lol.   
> *Edge's affectionate nickname for Stretch is Papí. :)
> 
> Thank you for your support & comments! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for your continued support in the forms of kudos and comments! :D I really appreciate your feedback, and it inspires me to keep developing this series! <3
> 
> Also announcing a mini hiatus for the RVR until August, since I have a school obligation coming up soon that will eat up most of my time. oTL I'm hoping to have the RVR back on the weekly updating schedule then!
> 
> Thanks again! <3
> 
> Oh! Red Velvet Reel has a [tumblr](https://redvelvetreel.tumblr.com/) now! Come say hi! <3


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